why doesn't anyone pick the nice guy?

i would SO love a belgian waffle with dark melted chocolate right now... complete with a nice hot cuppa. i miss chocolate so much it's not funny.

once again, playing the social recluse. hiding in my bunker made of books, readers and an assortment of papers... i feel like such a NERD! i cannot wait to run off to sydney next week. food, beaches, funky people and relaxxxaaaaaaatiionnnnnn.... with the slight possibility of adventure, depending on my mood ;)

went for a run yesterday, and i am ohsoaching from not exercising for the past month or so. either that or i'm just getting old..

speaking of old, i met up with an old friend for dinner the other day. haven't seen him around for awhile, and he was in melbourne on business. it was fun to just hang out and catch up, talk about life, love and everything in between. he really is a funny guy, and i had a great time. although we did have a little problem with my restaurant choices... they were all closed, for some crazy reason. but anyway, we ended up on lygon street at one of the small italian restuarants, which was nice. it was the company that mattered the most anyhow :)

this guy is funny, generous, witty, Christian, above average in the looks department, sensitive, great with kids and teenagers, dances the salsa and is still single!! what is WRONG with this picture? if i were single (and maybe a bit older), i'd be swooning! so why does he not have a long line of women at his doorstep? does it have anything to do with singaporean women wanting to focus on their careers, or wanting to settle down later....? what is it? i'm stumped and perplexed.

oh and if you're reading this (you know who you are ;P) your identity is safe with me. haha.

thing is, he's not the only guy i know who has so many things going for him, and yet still can't find a girl. off the top of my head, i could probably name at least 5. so what is it? does the nice guy really always finish last?

i don't know man. i'm just glad that i've got me one. haha. ;)

who moved my grapefruit?

more than a week has passed. i guess it's about time that i updated ;)

i've just realized that i've been blogging for about 7 years. man... i feel kinda old. that's a third of my lifetime. i know i've said it many times, but it really is amazing how time flies. no matter how slow time seems to be crawling at the current moment (exams and assignments people...!!!), all you have to do is look back to realize that it's all the illusion of an extremelystressedout mind.

gone are the times when blogging was (for me) an outlet for the day's frustrations and an empty (pixel) canvas for experimenting in web design and angsty poetry. i used to get a real kick out of going back to my old blogs to take a trip down memory lane. i still have all my own site designs somewhere in my hard-disk on my old laptop. maybe its a good thing that diary-x crashed. haha. i don't ever have to look at all that (bad) angsty poetry ever again.

perhaps its an innately human desire to want to believe that we're progressing somehow. maybe its a coming of age thing. every time we come to an epiphany, about issues, circumstances, situations etc., we seem to imagine that we're somewhat better off than we were yesterday.

what IS 'progress' anyway? is it possible to progress in one arena without sacrificing or giving up something else? are we REALLY better off with all our fancy technology and myriad of social and cultural constructions? is the capitalist economy really 'better' than an agrarian one? what in the WORLD are we trying to prove and who are we trying to prove it to? ourselves? kinda ridiculous if you think about it.

this existential angst is really getting me pumped up.

humans are funny creatures. always striving, always wanting more. we cheat, we lie, we backstab and blackmail... and then we justify ourselves, for this and that reason. even if its the belief in one's inherent superiority (think hitler)... it's still some sort of justification. why do we need reasons? and why do we have to try and understand everything?

i don't understand why we have to try and understand everything. go figure.

looks like i've progressed from high school angst to.. well.. i don't know really.

i'm hungry. gonna go snack a bit in front of the tv... bought these gorgeous grapefruits from the market yesterday. mmm... grapefruits...

essays essays everywhere

my apartment is clean!!! for now anyway...

i realize that my posts describe either how bored i am from essay-writing, my ecstatic post-cleaning madness or what is currently my favourite food or beverage. i am so predictable.

sigh.

well this boring individual has been cooped up at home for the past two weeks slaving away at essays, essays and more essays. it's like they never stop coming. if God is a god of 'more than enough'... then i've had more than enough!!! *heavy breathing*

had a little escapade to the hospital last week. it would've been more fun if i could breathe properly though. asthma is no fun. take my word for it, all you lucky people with healthy-lung genes. asthma is the suck. haven't had an attack in awhile... 3 years to be exact. so this sort of brought back memories. yes its weird. i sound like i MISS getting attacks or something... anyway, my mom thinks its my fault. she says that asthma is stress and lack-of-sleep enduced.

well.... it IS major assignment period.... maybe THAT has something to do with it... i don't know, just maybe...

i think that it's amazing how parents always seem to be able to make things your fault. like when you're young and you don't want to finish your food. your mom will start talking about how little children are starving in Africa because children like you are wasting food. i mean... at that point you just grudgingly finish your food (or slowly slip it to the dog under the table..), but when you look back... you kinda go.. "hey wait a second... did my mom really make me feel like i caused the ENTIRE starvation problem in africa??"... talk about teaching your kids about cause and effect... no wonder i had problems with chemistry in secondary school... i had issues...

and thus starts the month of june.

i have just been told than my love for apple whiskey and taro buns does not transcend my need to update my blog. so here i am once again. procrastinating and trying not to remember that i have 1849 words to go on my final critical theories essay.

i have also discovered jarrah chai latte, which i will shamelessly promote. it is GOOD. gives off the most gorgeous aroma, and is not as sinful as it tastes. 99% fat free! and only 63 calories per serve (is that a lot? hurhur).

what does it feel like to be 21?

to be frank it really doesn't feel like anything. its probably a bigger thing for everone else than it is for me. *shrug* then again, i guess i was never one for celebrating birthdays. i know what you're thinking... deprived kid

Lord You are good and Your mercies endureth forever... :)