Wednesday, April 26, 2006

still alive

i think i like taro buns. and apple whiskey. and running out to the balcony to catch the sunset over the melbourne horizon. having 3 half-priced tickets for tripod in my wallet. ooo... and blueberry and chocolate muffins and good coffee... and good company. and sillypeople singing silly songs in the background while i'm blogging.

an overthinker on a break :)

daniel dennet is an interesting read. ask me about him.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

two words... ... WE ROCK!

Friday, April 14, 2006

this girl is off to easter camp

may everyone have one of those glass-half-full days.

i'm still waiting for the lemonade to be poured.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

sing a song

yes i know i should be doing my essay. i'm taking a break *cough cough*. got this off eddie's blog . thought it was absolutely hilarious. so i thought i'd give it a go myself.

instructions: put an mp3 player of choice on shuffle and answer these questions with song titles.

how does the world think of me?
Grow old with you - Adam Sandler
(i'm trying to figure out this means... does everyone think i'm a hopeless romantic??)

will i have a happy life?
In Christ alone
(amen!)

what do my friends really think of me?
How great thou art
(hahaha... naw... really?)

do people secretly lust after me?
O Holy Night
(erm... ??)

How can i make myself happy?
Think of me - Andrew Lloyd Webber
(aww... :D)

what should i do with my life?
Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen) - Baz Luhrman
( become a sunscreen marketing agent??)

will i ever have children?
Evermore - Hillsong
(this is a bit disturbing... i know God told us to populate the earth... but....)

what is some good advice for me?
When I’m sixty-four - the Beatles
(ok... thanks guys...)

how will i be remembered?
Holiday in spain - Counting Crows
(yikes. what did i do in spain??)

what is my signature dancing song?
Prelude - Chris Rice
(erm... is my dancing THAT bad?)

What do i think my current theme song is?
How Can you mend a broken heart - Michael Buble
(*sniff* ... )

what do other people think my theme song is?
You are my world - Hillsong
(well... i guess i'm doing something right :P)

what song will play at my funeral?
The power of a moment - Chris Rice
(that's pretty apt. something to think about)

what type of men do i like?
King of Glory
(i know that i'm supposed to like godly men... but...)

what is my day going to be like?
Smellin coffee - Chris Rice
(why does that sounds like a bad day?)

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Conclusion? i need to start listening to a larger variety of songs. every other song is a Praise&Worship song or CCM. sigh. i'm so predictable.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

you and me and everybody else

maybe because i'm bored. probably because i'm distracted. and definitely because i'm supposed to be doing something else... i've gone and written an article on elitism and bigotry in singapore. it was pretty much prompted by http://studentnotebook.blogspot.com . yes.. i'm supposed to be doing my essay on postmodernism.. but how can one give up such an interesting topic? especially since my last two critical theory tuts were discussions on Habermas and Adorno.... :D

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very marxist... i know, but i honestly do believe that it [bigotry and elitism in Singapore] all boils down to class differences and our inability to see beyond the boxed worlds that we were brought up in.

it is not so much the schools that we're talking about. i think the major issue is what these schools stand for - what they represent.

i.e. elite schools for the middle to upper income brackets and the neighbourhood schools for everyone else.

(note: i do acknowledge that within every elite school there are bound to be exceptions, and vice versa. my brother goes to a neighbourhood school, and i was from an elite secondary school and jc. so that's a bit of where i'm coming from as well.

what i speak of - for the sake of discourse - are generalizations, as the inclusion of specifics would make discussion almost impossible.)

a lot of the bigotry and elitism that we see in our society has its roots in the way our education system is designed. i don't know if it was meant to be that way, but that's how it seems to me.

the first thing that i will say, is that it is easier for a middle to upper class student to get into and remain in an elite school from primary all the way till university. mainly because of the fact that with money comes opportunities. as much as i hate to say it.

now i imagine that meritocracy and fairness and we-all-have-equal-opportunities-because-its-a-free-country kind of objections will be flying through some peoples' heads now. so let me just try to clarify what i just said with an illustration.

imagine two students, A and B, equal in intellect, enter an elite primary school at primary one. A gets in by affiliation (parents or siblings or other strings) and B gets in through balloting.

they go through primary school. A gets extra tuition outside school, takes part in activities that stimulate the intellect (e.g. drama, music, what have you). B doesn't have all that extra stuff, through no fault of his own. just that his parents do not have the financial means to give him all that stuff.

due to class size, and the inability of the teacher to cater to all students. A starts to do better than B academically. not because he's smarter, but because he gets extra help outside school.

PSLE. A does extremely well because of the rigorous tution and the drilling from his tuition teachers with countless assessment books. he is streamed into the special stream.
B on the other hand, didn't do as well and is streamed into the express stream.

A makes it into an elite secondary school, while B doesn't.

this is a purely hypothetical example to illustrate a point, so please do not argue by saying that not everyone is like that.

GENERALLY, people in higher income brackets are presented with more opportunities. as such, by secondary school, the majority of students in elite schools are from the middle to upper classes.

where is all this going to?

it is in our adolescent years (teens to early twenties) that we form our identities, and perhaps the firmest friends. it is also during these years that our worldviews are shaped the most.

now due to the fact that by secondary school, a lot (not all) of us are fit into schools which have cultures that revolve very much around our income brackets (are my fellow AC students going to deny that their frequent visits to holland village, as compared to the neighbourhood Macs, are not bourgeois?), it is inevitable that we will form stereotypes of the Other. the Other being those from neighbourhood schools. a lot of our identity is based on what we are NOT, and it is there that we draw the boundary.

therefore and thus, we start to believe that the Other is so different, and incompatible to the world that we know. and this works both ways. and more often than not, due to purely human nature and our subconscious (and sometimes conscious) workings, these distinctions take on an i'm-better-than-you stance. e.g. students from elite schools are snobbish. OR students from neighbourhood schools are not as smart.

As such, elitism and bigotry in our wonderful Singaporean society is largely a result of the stereotypes and mindsets that we pick up in school. Re-inforced by friends, and sometimes even by parents.

How we can get out of these mindsets and start treating each other with respect?

Firstly by acknowledging that they exist in the first place. Then by making a conscious effort to mix around with people from other backgrounds, trying to shove those stereotypes into a little box in the back of your brain. Recognize that everyone has had different opportunities and choices to make. Basically, don’t judge a book by its cover (or a student from his school… for that matter).

I don’t profess to have easy answers, and I know that its very easy to point out a problem. It’s the answers that screw with your brain.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

i know nothing

i think i've come to a point in my uni life where i'm starting to feel really dense. it's been quite some time since i last felt like that. it's not a very nice feeling. especially during class discussions, when you're talking about Derrida and Foucault and Adorno and theories of history and Habermas and lifeworld and Marxism. it's fun. it's intellectually stimulating. but painfully demanding readings-wise. i'm starting to wonder if it has something to do with the way i was brought up to think and study. what am i saying? of course it does. sheesh.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

sandcastle romeo

sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be romanced. it's something that i can't say that i've experienced before... and well... like any girl, i guess i'm curious. too many movies perhaps? a lot of my guy friends tell me what they want/plan to do for the girls that they like.. and its so amusing and adorable because they're so into it and excited and sweet. and i'm happy for them. they seem to get an adrenaline rush from it (half of which probably comes from the nervousness), and they tell me its the thrill of the chase.

the thrill of the chase indeed. makes us females sound like antelopes or something.

it's not that i'm unhappy at the way things have turned out for me. i am and i love you. but well.. sometimes i just can't help but wonder about my mother's words and all the whatifs.

especially the whatifs.

i always cry when i watch romantic comedies. ok i can cry watching cartoons.. but that really isn't the point. it's kind of a wistful iwishthatcouldhappentome sort of feeling that makes me tingly and happy and sad all at the same time. but then again, movies are movies, and they are feel-good movies.. so perhaps i'm just a victim of hollywood fairytale stories.


...all i wanna do is grow old with you...
(Gen 1:31a) And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good...


...something right went very wrong
but love has been here all along...