damnit...

ain't no sunshine when he's gone

happy birthday!! to someone really special :)

with everything that i am, i wish so much that i could be there to celebrate with you. but sometimes life gets in the way and there are things that we must do. i hope that you're not too disappointed that i couldn't make it back in time.. we'll do something nice when i get back.
i promise.

----

i've never really been one to celebrate birthdays though. well maybe i do enjoy surprising other people and doing stuff for their birthdays... but i never really saw the sense in celebrating my own. i guess i've always just seen it as another day in the year. i don't know why... and i know that its tradition or custom.. or what i have you... but i just feel that its well... such self-absorbed behavior. ok maybe people should be excused on their birthdays, because its their day, and all that sorta thing. perhaps i'm just being an old grouch.

actually, i think it might be about expectations. i don't celebrate because i don't want to expect too much... just in case i get disappointed. if you don't expect presents and a party... you can't be disappointed if you don't get them. sounds like a rather sad philosophy dunnit? self defensive? *shrug*

c'est la vie...

good times

just managed to grab this photo off theo last night. didn't even remember taking it... hmm...

convy 2006 was really really amazing. wish i had brought a camera, but i guess there's no point crying over spilt milk. so if you have photos... send them to me!! it's also partly for the new version of the OCF orientation video :) its going to blow your socks off (i say this on behalf of mishy mishy *grin*)!

i really hope that i can fly back for convy this year.would be great to see people from the other centres and hear about what God has been doing in 2007. anyone willing to sponsor my air ticket? haha. well one can always hope right? :P

Lord of the music

i was sure by now
that You would have reached down
and wiped the tears away
stepped in and saved the day
but once again
i say amen and its still raining...

and as the thunder roars
i barely hear You whisper through the rain
'I'm with you'...

and once again He speaks through song

so you think you're superman

every so often we hear stories. stories of misfortune, of suffering and of pain. and then we cry, we sympathize and we attempt to comfort those poor unfortunate souls. we say a prayer, or maybe even a few. then we forget... even though they continue to plod onward in their battles.

Oh they'll be ok. God is with them.

and we think.. that will never happen to us. we are invincible.

truth is. we all have our kryptonite.

the journey

turning her head at the sound of thunder in the distance, and dragging her tired feet across the endless dunes... she prays... prays to her god to see her pain and to come to her rescue.

i will praise You in the storm
i will lift my hands
You are who You are
no matter where i am

she knelt on the cracked earth and sobbed, her tears forming dark coffee splotches in the sand...

every tear i cry
You hold in Your hands
You never left my side

and she felt loving arms embrace her. but the hurt didn't stop. her throat still parched. her feet still bloody and scratched.

and though my heart is torn
i will praise you in the storm

sometimes it still rains when you say amen.

are you there?

the lone streetlamp flickers spasmodically, like in that nursery rhyme we used to sing about the little star. but without the same innocence. it is bare and harsh, and illuminates in still images all the things we want to hide away. all the things we want to shove into a dark basement and forget.

but life doesn't let us forget does she? she's petty, and she knows when we've been bad or good... so be good for goodness sake

----

i don't want to be noble. or brave. or strong.

i just want to be a child again.

----

as the thunder roars
i barely hear you whisper through the rain
'i'm with you'...

desperation

she's running down an alley. its long and winding, and she wonders when it will end. her feet are bare and bleeding. the floor is cold. and wet. water forming rivers between the cobblestones. she's been running for as long as she can remember, hence the bloody feet.

she wants to stop, but something keeps her going.

the voices in her head are getting worse, and she tries to focus on the pounding of her heart and her feet splashing in the puddles. it felt good. it was relief. if only for split seconds at a time. they'll find you. you have nowhere to go.

she wants to wake up. to find that it was all a long, bad, vivid dream...